Amanda was still on the fence.
The play needed work and any responsible director would be calling an extra weekend rehearsal – not taking time off to chase after some teenage fantasy. At least that’s what she told herself most of the time. But at other moments . . . when she was alone at the lake, staring out over the water, she could still hear his voice, still sense the way it felt to be caught in his eyes, the two of them lost in a feeling bigger than anything she’d known before or since.
Lately everything reminded her of him.
What had happened, anyway? Why had they lost touch? The questions came at her even now, when class was minutes from starting. They didn’t leave each other’s sides for anything back then. When the director called a break from Beauty and the Beast rehearsals, she and Josh would slip into the alley out back and talk about how many hours until they could be alone.
Overt displays of affection were not allowed in practice or during the production of Beauty and the Beast that summer, but that didn’t keep the two of them from looking at each other, standing close and talking in quiet whispers.
“You take my breath away, do you know that?” he would tell her. And later when they were sitting outside her the house where she was staying with her aunt and uncle, he would sometimes bring his guitar. Halfway through the summer he called her after practice, his voice brimming with excitement.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Really?” She could still feel the way his voice warmed her soul. “Do I get it today?”
“Yes.” He laughed. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”
He drove over and once she was outside on the porch swing, he pulled up a footstool and started playing a song she’d never heard. When she looked confused, her stopped and grinned. “I wrote it for you, Amanda. It’s how I feel.”
The song picked up again and the lyrics spoke of a love that came across in every smile, every catch of the eye, and how in everything he did, he always thought of her. When he was finished playing, she felt tears in her eyes. No one had ever written a song for her, and every day since then something had become more clear in her mind.
Just how rare Josh Nelson had been.
The students filed in, smiling at her and chatting with each other. It was a strong cast, the group of kids mostly seniors. Today they were working on the battle scene, the one that depicted the classic struggle – good vs. evil. All the dramas in the world came down to that, really. Even the one she was playing out in her own head. Josh was the good guy, the one who had sung softly to her and danced with her their last night together, and Hollywood . . . well, Hollywood was the evil machine that had changed him into whatever he’d become.
But how would she ever know if even that was a half truth unless she went to the beach and waited for him?
“You okay, Ms James?” It was a blonde girl, the one playing Lucy in the current play. “You’ve been sorta quiet lately.”
Was it that obvious? Amanda stood and straightened herself. She clapped her hands. “Everyone take their places. The citizens of Narnia on the right side of the stage and the workers of the White Witch on the other.” She took a few steps closer to the stage. “It’ll look like a chaotic battle, but it won’t work at all unless we choreograph it.”
The students did as they were told and as the class progressed, the battle took shape. It reminded Amanda of the battle in 2 Chronicles 20, the one where God’s people were on the firing line and the Lord told them clearly not to be afraid or discouraged, because they wouldn’t have to fight the battle. Rather, God, Himself, would fight it.
As the scene played out she was struck by the similarities. God wanted to fight the battle in her heart just as He’d wanted to fight it for the Israelites. But first she needed to make a decision. Just before class ended she made an announcement.
“You’ll have a substitute Friday,” she told them. “Run Act One and make sure everyone’s clear on the blocking.”
The blonde raised her hand. “Are you seeing a doctor, Ms. James?”
“No.” She smiled and for the first time in a week it came from the center of her soul. “I’m taking a trip to the beach.”
