Amanda James never looked at the magazines.
    But that fall afternoon – a week into her second year teaching drama at Washington’s Woodland High – after she put her Wheat Thins on the check stand, and as she reached into her cart for the ten-pack of string cheese, her eyes broke rank and she looked.
       She looked and there he was. Josh Nelson, the one guy whose memory was never more than a sunset away. His face filled the cover, positioned next to one of Hollywood’s top starlets under the bold statement, “Will Josh and Jennifer Elope?”
       Look away, she told herself. At the chewing gum or candy bars or packs of batteries. Anything but the familiar photo on the cover of the magazine. But her eyes weren’t taking orders. The string cheese slipped from her hand and fell with a smack back into her cart.
       “Do you want the cheese, Ms. James?” The checker was a former student, graduated the year before. “I need it up here if you do.”
       “Oh.” Before she had time to reason with herself she snagged the magazine and the string cheese in a single move and tossed them onto the belt. “Yes, thanks. Sorry.”
       And like that, the magazine was hers. She was in her car before it hit her what she’d done. The place in her memory where Josh Nelson lived had been locked shut for years. Until now.
       The drive was as familiar as it was refreshing, the gentle curves and hills, the evergreens that framed the roadway and allowed just an occasional glimpse of Lake Merwin to the south. Amanda gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. She needed this, the time it would take to reach her cabin on the lake. Josh was a movie star now, a different person than the one he’d been eight years ago. No matter what the magazine told her it wouldn’t be the exact truth or the whole story, but it would be all there was now.
       All that was left.
       When she was home, when she’d ordered every stray emotion back to the basement of her heart, when her food was put away and she was out on the balcony soaking in a view of the lake that never grew old, she finally pulled the magazine from its bag and thumbed to the center.
       The story was brief, a two-page layout of mostly photos. A person would have to be living in another country to have escaped the obvious. Josh and his most recent leading lady, Jennifer Owens, had fallen for each other. Amanda bit her lip. So what did that have to do with her?
       She set the magazine down and looked across the lake again. She loved September in Washington State. The afternoon sunshine cast diamonds across the water and in the distance, a pair of eagles soared and dipped. How long had it been? That last day of summer all those years ago? Amanda drew a slow breath and her memories came to life unchecked.
       The annual meeting place was an Oregon coast church camp – Twin Rocks, it was called. It consisted of a handful of nicely kept cabins, a cozy lodge and an activity building plus the usual amenities – a rope swing, a fire pit, volleyball, and a 9-hole miniature golf course. Connecting the camp to the beach was a covered footbridge that crossed busy Highway 1.
       Amanda and Josh met the summer they turned twelve. Amanda’s dad was a former pro baseball player, and that year he was the camp’s keynote speaker. By then, Josh and his family had been coming to Twin Rocks from Seattle for seven years, and always they took care of the music. Amanda was busy with her sister, but on the first night of camp Josh performed a solo, a song about faith and love.
       His voice was golden, and when he finished singing, Amanda’s heart was in her throat. She tapped her sister on the shoulder, leaned close and whispered, “See that boy?”
       Her sister was younger. She angled her head, her eyes on Josh. “Yeah?”
       “Don’t tell him,” Amanda covered her mouth, smothering a giggle. “I’m going to marry him when I grow up.”
       Amanda’s family made it back to Twin Rocks each of the next five years and she and Josh became friends, keeping in touch between camp visits. But they didn’t fall in love until that last summer, way before camp. The weeks flew by in a blur and suddenly it was the last day of camp.
       The last time Amanda ever saw Josh Nelson.

    Amanda’s family made it back to Twin Rocks each of the next five years and she and Josh became friends, keeping in touch between camp visits. But they didn’t fall in love until that last summer, months before camp. Amanda had auditioned for a summer theater troupe in Seattle and won a leading role. She stayed with her aunt and uncle and on the first day of rehearsals, Josh was waiting for her at the door. The summer was magical, the two of them working hours a day on Beauty and the Beast. Camp took place the week after the show closed.
    Josh found her after the camp meeting the final evening of the session.
    He grinned at her. “Come on, Amanda.” He grabbed a paper sack and took her hand. By flashlight they ran through the wooded paths toward the covered footbridge. They didn’t stop until they were forty feet above the highway. Josh pulled a small boom box from the bag and searched her eyes. “If we lived closer, I’d take you to my prom.” He swallowed hard. “Since that can’t happen, I wondered if . . .”
    He bent down and hit the Play button. Then he found her eyes again. “I wondered if you would dance with me now.” He spread his hands out. “Here.”
    Amanda tipped her head back and laughed. Then she did a curtsy and gave him a smile that left no doubts. “Of course.”
    When the five songs were over, Josh drew her close and kissed her. The memory still took her breath away. How could she have known it would be their last time together? Or that he would catch a break in Hollywood and disappear from her life? That night, before they went back to camp, he said something she remembered still.
    “If something happens and we don’t see each other again, let’s make a plan to meet. Ten years from now.” He thought for a moment. “First Saturday in October, 2005. Twelve noon.”
    It had sounded like forever away. “Where?” Amanda’s heart beat hard against her chest, the feel of his kiss still on her lips.
    “Here.” He slapped the wooden bridge. “Right here.”
    Amanda closed her eyes. She didn’t need a calendar to tell her the obvious. The first Saturday in October, 2005, wasn’t forever away at all.
    In fact it would be here in sixteen days.

    The private club was packed, the music louder than usual.
    Josh Nelson didn’t mind. Anything to keep him from thinking too hard. He moved to the rhythm of the song. Smile big, he reminded himself. Someone’s always watching, always taking pictures. Smile big. He was in a cluster of friends, all of them part of Hollywood’s A-list. Dayne Matthews and Kelly Parker and Jennifer. Always Jennifer. He grinned at her, at her long bleached blonde hair and narrow waist.
    Every guy in America wanted Jennifer, didn’t they? So . . . Josh closed his eyes and kept moving. What was wrong with him? These should’ve been the best days of his life. He blinked open and after a few more seconds the song ended. Jennifer took his hand and brought her lips to his neck. “Hey . . .” She spoke loud enough for only him to hear. “Let’s find a private booth.”
    “Uh . . .” A private booth? The paparazzi would get the shot and the gossip rags would have them married by the weekend. Josh looked around and his eyes met Dayne’s. Another song kicked in. “Maybe later.” He had to yell to be heard. “Let’s dance for now.”
    He and Dayne were friends, closer now after shooting their last movie together. At the moment, Dayne was the top draw in the movie industry. Josh wanted to learn all he could from the guy, and what he’d picked up so far was this – Dayne had doubts about the Hollywood lifestyle.
    Josh squeezed Jennifer’s hand and they kept dancing. At a table not far away he saw a couple making out – the two of them were married to different people a month ago, but that wasn’t even interesting in Tinseltown. His eyes lingered on them, and then on a group of four girls a few tables down. Each starred in current movies or television shows and all were under the gun for their weight. Two of them were recently featured in a magazine under the headline, “Shocking Weight Loss . . . How Much Can They Take?” And two of them for “Packing on the Pounds.”
    Of course, he and Jennifer were cover fodder, too. The magazines actually had it right this time. He was considering marrying her – but only because it was what she wanted. He was 27 now, old enough to settle down. His parents wanted a traditional wedding for him, but Jennifer?
    She’d been married twice before. Her idea was to fly to Vegas, find an all-night chapel, and tie the knot without parents or paparazzi getting wind of the ordeal. Josh was tempted. Everything about Jennifer was tempting. He grinned at her now, gave her the appropriate smile to show he was attracted to her, that he liked dancing with her.
    But no matter how loud the music or how long he danced, Josh couldn’t get past the face that filled his mind every quiet hour of the night. Or this very simple reality.
    It was 2005. And the first Saturday in October was right around the corner.

    The play was Narnia.
    Amanda had wanted to direct it since she was a high school theater student. Now, finally, the principal had approved it as the fall production. Auditions had taken place the first week of school and the play was cast. It was the second week of rehearsals and already she was convinced. The production would be everything she’d hoped.
    It was the scene where the white witch takes Edmund through the forest, the Turkish Delight scene. The witch and her sidekick were on stage, pretending to be standing in a sleigh. Only Edmund was missing.
    “So . . .” Loren Pace, the witch, glared at her sidekick. “Where’s Edmund?”
    They were improvising, filling in until the kid playing Edmund remembered his cue. The sidekick was quirky. She scratched her head and did a sideways hop. “I don’t know where he is?”
    “Well!” Loren fired the word like a canon. “Where’d you put him?”
    At that moment, Edmund walked on and dusted off his pants. “I was caught . . . caught in a thicket.”
    Amanda let the scene go without interrupting it. Live theater required adjusting to timing issues and covering for each other in situations like this. She was proud of them for pulling it off. “Continue,’ she was on her feet, waving her arms toward the stage. “Good cover, keep moving.”
    She sat down and pulled her production schedule from the nearest drawer. It was the busiest fall since she’d been at Woodland High. Showcases for the students at two different assemblies, weekend acting workshops and enough rehearsals to have Narnia ready the first week of November.
    No time for a weekend jaunt to Twin Rocks, not even if she was interested.
    The kids kept running lines, kept moving through the play, but another scene came to mind. She and Josh at rehearsal all those long weeks the summer before their senior years in high school. Josh was Gaston, the boastful villager, and she was Beauty.
    Acting uninterested in Josh was the toughest acting role she’d ever had. One afternoon they snuck off to the props room to find Gaston’s sword, and instead they started kissing. They didn’t stop until they heard someone cough a few feet away. It was the director.
    “Beauty doesn’t fall for the beast.” She gave Amanda a stern look and pointed back toward the stage. “Let’s try to remember that.”
    After the first performance, the entire cast went out for milkshakes. She and Josh found a bench and snuggled together. The moon had never been brighter.
    “Can you feel it, Amanda?” He found her eyes and neither of them looked away.
    She wondered if he could hear her heartbeat. “What?”
    “Whatever this is . . . what’s happening between us. . .” a crooked grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. He shrugged. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
    She felt the same way, like she was the crazy person caught in the dessert, and he, the long cool drink. She couldn’t get enough of him. A cool breeze wafted up from the water and in the distance a foghorn sounded. She looked to the deepest parts of him. “I remember the first day I saw you.” A laugh tickled her throat. “I was twelve and I told my sister that one day . . .”
    He ran his thumb along her hand. “One day what?”
    “One day . . . I’d marry you.”
    His eyes shone. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You know when I’m going to tell that story?”
    “When?”
    “At our wedding reception.”
    There was a loud sound and Amanda jumped in her seat. At the front of the room, one of the actors had a stick in his hand. He cleared his throat. “Ms. James, yes or no?”
    Yes or no? Amanda stood, willing away the heat that filled her cheeks. “I’m sorry . . . I missed the question.”
    The boy rolled his eyes. “Do you want the beavers upstage or downstage in the next scene? I think they should be upstage.”
    Amanda had no idea. She grabbed the nearest script and gave it a quick once-over. “Yes,” she still wasn’t sure. “Upstage.”
    Again she took her seat. Enough of the memories. So what if October 1st was coming up? Josh Nelson would’ve forgotten all about her by now, right? What they’d shared was . . .well, it was the sort of young love that people learn from. Not the kind that made two adults drop what they were doing and head for a covered footbridge on the coast of Oregon.
    But what if it was? The possibility stayed with her, gracing the walls of her heart throughout the afternoon. Even while she was thinking about how little time she had before the show, she pulled the calendar near again. Then, just in case, she did something she’d been wanting to do all day.
    She took a red pen and in the square marked October 1 she wrote this:
    Maybe.

For Josh Nelson, the break into acting came sure and quick.
He was in his senior year of high school when he was given the part of the surfer boy in Malibu, a new series about a class of teenagers from the beaches of Southern California. Blonde and blue-eyed, Josh had always brushed off comments about his looks. He was a singer. Music came from the center of his soul, and he never once planned on anything but a career in songwriting and performing.
But his mother thought differently.
“Don’t you ever look in the mirror, Josh,” she explained when she signed him up with one of the top talent agents in Seattle. “Maybe you can make a little money for college.”
He was an only child, and when he and his parents talked about the possibilities, they imagined commercials and print work. Something to help build up his bank account. Never did they dream that his second audition would land him a starring role on the hit TV series.
Josh stirred the straw in his Diet Pepsi. He and Dayne Matthews were having lunch at a small Burbank café, talking about the beginning. How life had gone from normal to crazy and how it sometimes felt like it had happened overnight.
“Did you ever get to college?” Dayne was working on a cheeseburger. He wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“Nah.” Josh leaned back in his chair and stared at the smoggy sky. “The money was fast and instant. What good’s college when you can make more in an episode than most men make in a year?”
“Exactly.” Dayne tugged on his baseball cap. He hated the photographers, the hounds that never let them have a moment’s peace. So far they’d avoided them that afternoon, but not for long. Never for long. “What about girls? You leave anyone back in your old life?”
The way Dayne said it, Josh was sure there was someone for Dayne, someone not caught up in the Hollywood scene. Someone whose life was good and clean and normal. That most of all. He squinted and slipped his sunglasses back in place. “Just one.”
Dayne nodded. “I thought so.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Dayne slid forward, his elbows on the table. “Every now and then you’ll be at a club or dancing with Jennifer and I’ll see it.” He nodded at Josh. “That look in your eye that asks the same questions we’re all asking.”
“Which are . . .”
“Oh, you know. What happened? What happened to the nice girls, the ones with no surgery and a sense of reality? The ones who don’t club hop till three in the morning and sleep with half a dozen guys a year? Where, just once, is a girl who wants to know you for you? And this one most of all. How come guys like us can never find a girl like that?” He shrugged. “Those questions.”
“You have your story, don’t you, Dayne?”
He nodded slow. “I do. Sometimes makes me want to toss the whole thing and run to Bloomington, Indiana.”
“Bloomington?” Josh wanted a reason to know he wasn’t losing his mind, that his peers thought running as often as he did.
“Her name’s Katy Hart.” He rolled his trash into a compact ball. “I’ll have to tell you about her some time.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “What about you, Nelson. Who do you have back on the other side of the world?”
The other side of the world. It was a phrase he and Dayne used to describe life before fame, before they felt owned by a society who saw them as bigger than life. Josh took another swig of his drink, his eyes never leaving Dayne’s. “I haven’t talked to her since I was seventeen, man.”
“Feels like yesterday, doesn’t it?” Dayne’s smile was easy, the one all of America loved.
“Like yesterday and a million years ago all at the same time.”
“So what’s her name?”
A middle-aged man walked up to their table, a goofy grin plastered to his face. “Wow . . . I mean, can you believe it? Dayne Matthews and Josh Nelson at the same table?” He fumbled in his food bag and found a used napkin. His hands shook as he grabbed a pen from his coat pocket. “Couldya’ sign this, for my kid back home?”
Dayne went first, then Josh. As the man was walking away, two squealing teenage girls approached and then a mother with two kids in a baby stroller. Dayne and Josh were halfway to the car when they heard the camera clicks. Someone had called, the goofy dad or the clerk at the café counter. Either way, their private conversation was over.
Before they peeled away, before they took seven turns and back roads to lose the paparazzi on their tail, Josh said just one thing to his friend.
“Amanda James.” He smiled and for the first time in months it felt genuine. “Her name’s Amanda James.”

There had only been one man in her life since Josh Nelson.
He was an education student at University of Portland, a safe, predictable man who adored her. They met their freshmen years and dated on and off until they graduated. With Larry she would’ve been loved and cherished all her life, but there was one problem.
It wasn’t magical.
Amanda pulled into her parents’ driveway and went inside. She had dinner with them every Thursday night since she and Larry broke up. Dinner was often the same – salmon or chicken, and when the meal was over, her father would slip into the television room for a sports update, and she and her mother would sip tea and talk.
That night, Amanda wasted no time. “Tell me something.” She put the kettle on and turned her back to the stove. “What did you think of Larry?”
Her mother cast her a sideways look. “I thought he was nice.”
“He was.” Amanda pulled her loose dark curls back and brought them over one shoulder. “He still calls once in a while.”
“Are you thinking about him again?” She put her plate in the dishwasher and took two clean mugs from the cupboard.
“No.” The stove was heating up. Amanda moved over a few inches. “Something was missing with Larry.”
“Something’s missing with most people, darling.” Her mother sat at one of the kitchen barstools and faced her. “Larry was a good young man.”
“It’s just . . .”
“I know.” There was no condemnation in her voice. “He wasn’t Josh Nelson.”
It almost sounded strange hearing his name now. He was one of the most recognized men in America, a person who’s first and last name were permanently linked together. The kettle began whistling, and Amanda turned off the burner. She poured hot water into both mugs. “Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for that feeling again, the one I felt with him.”
“Honey . . .” they both knew what was coming. “Young love is like that. It’s wrong to spend your life wanting those feelings again. They come once in a lifetime, and then, only to the very luckiest of us.”
It was something her mother had told her dozens of times. Usually Amanda listened thoughtfully and nodded. But not today. “I guess I don’t understand. I mean if I know love can feel like this,” she raised her hand high over her head. “Why settle for this.” She dropped it back to waist level. “You know?”
Her mother patted the stool beside her. “Come sit down.”
She did, but she was still frustrated. Since she was a little girl she’d prayed about her future, about the man she’d marry. When she met Josh, she was sure he was the one. Never mind that they were young and idealistic, Josh knew her. Really knew her. She took a sip of her tea and looked into her cup. “I’m thinking of taking a few days off, going to the coast.”
“The coast?” Her mother knew nothing about the silly promise she and Josh had made each other that year. “The Oregon coast?”
“Yes. Tillamook.”
“Oh.” Her mother lowered her brow, confused. “Near Twin Rocks?”
“Right.” She brought her eyes to her mother’s. The smell of spicy chicken lingered in the kitchen. “Remember that last summer, when our family and Josh’s went to camp?”
“Yes.” Her mother held her tea close to her face and breathed in the steam. “You were both seventeen.”
“Right, well . . .” The words didn’t come easily, and Amanda felt a decade younger stumbling over the explanation. “We promised that if neither of us saw each other again, and if we weren’t married to other people, we’d meet again the first Saturday in October, 2005.”
Slowly, her mother’s eyebrows lifted high into her brow. “That’s . . .”
“I know. It’s ten days away. October 1st.”
She gasped. “Amanda!” Her eyes showed the hint of a smile. “You’re thinking of going?”
“I am.” She took a burning mouthful of tea and swished it in her mouth. Then she swallowed. “Is that crazy?”
Her mother waited a long time before she answered. “Josh has moved on, honey. I’d be shocked if he showed up. But either way, I don’t think you’re crazy.” She took a slow sip from her mug. “Maybe it’s a trip you have to make. So you’ll learn something about yourself.”
Everything about the conversation with her mother sat well with Amanda except one thing. The part where she said that Josh had moved on. She didn’t have to spell it out. What she meant was Josh had changed. He was different now, a movie star, shallow and given to a playboy lifestyle that would never suit her.
She did one last thing before she went to bed that night. The magazine was tucked away in a drawer now, but she pulled it out and looked at the cover for a long time. Not at the headlines or the girl beside him, but at him. And that’s when she knew her mother was wrong. No matter what Josh’s life was like now, his eyes told the real story.
That somewhere inside he was still the same boy she’d fallen in love with.

Dayne brought it up again, but just once.
They were at Le Tres, the trendy hot spot lodged in the foothills overlooking Los Angeles. The music was loud but not as loud as it would get after ten o’clock, when the partying really kicked in. By then Dayne would be gone, the way he usually was when it got late. Since their last conversation, Josh wondered whether that was because of the girl in Bloomington.
Dayne stretched his arm across the back of the booth and leveled his gaze across the table at Josh. “You never told me her name.”
Josh stirred his straw in his drink and squinted. “Amanda James.” Josh allowed the hint of a grin. “We were church camp buddies until the year we were seventeen.”
Dayne raised an eyebrow. “You won’t find many church camp buddies in Hollywood, friend.”
The rest of that day and long into the next, while Josh was supposed to be filming a Los Angeles love story opposite a new leading lady, he couldn’t get his mind to let go of her, of how good it had felt to have her name on his lips again. He sat on a brick wall and sipped a cup of thick black coffee. His scene was up in a few minutes, so he had to stay nearby. She was beautiful back then, willowy and long-legged, with wavy chestnut hair, inches below her shoulders – at least back when they were teenagers. But it was her eyes he never forgot. Hazel eyes that opened her entire heart and soul to him with just a glance.
“Nelson, what’s with you?” The director was a woman, and normally she used a bullhorn. Not today. She took hold of his shoulder and studied his face. “I called you to the set, but you sit here like you can’t hear a thing.”
He couldn’t, but that wasn’t the director’s fault. “Sorry.” He shot her a practiced smile and cleared his throat. “Lots on my mind.”
“Well listen up.” She gave him a playful punch in the gut. “This is my film and I need you a hundred percent.”
“Of course.” He slid off the wall and fell in beside her. “Penelope’s ready?”
The director gave him a knowing look. “You have to ask?”
Shooting that day was tedious. He came back to his apartment that night with a heavy heart. Amanda would be married by now, right? Everything about her cried out to be loved and cared for. She would’ve found a man like her, kind and devoted to God. They probably had three kids by now.
Still . . . October 1st was five days away. What if she wasn’t married? What if wherever she was and whatever life had brought her, she still remembered his impulsive idea from a decade earlier? Let’s meet . . . first Saturday in October, 2005. What if she was there and he stood her up?
He wandered around his apartment looking for clues, signs. Should he go? Should he put his reality on hold long enough to take a trip to the Oregon Coast? Finally his wandering took him into his study and there, on the top shelf was a book he hadn’t pulled down for a year or more. The Bible his parents had given him for his twenty-first birthday.
Dad . . . Josh ran his thumb over the leather cover. You were always looking out for the real me, the one Hollywood knows nothing about. His father was dead now, gone for two years to a sudden bout of cancer. He opened the big book and read the inscription.
Josh . . . God has plans for your life, but you’ll only find them if you find Him. Really find Him. I love you always, Dad.
He closed his eyes. God . . . I don’t think I’m living the way You want, so first let me apologize. With his eyes still closed he ran his thumb over the Bible once more. The thing is . . . I have this meeting coming up and I’m not sure what to do, I’m not sure if –
Go! Son, keep your word and go.
Josh opened his eyes. Whatever that was, it sounded like it had come from right behind him. He remained still, and a chill worked its way down his spine. He was alone in the room, so the voice, the message could’ve come from just one place. He closed the Bible and without giving the idea another thought, he went to the phone and dialed the director’s number.
“I need a few days off.” Relief flooded his limbs. “I’m going to the Oregon Coast.”

Amanda was still on the fence.
The play needed work and any responsible director would be calling an extra weekend rehearsal – not taking time off to chase after some teenage fantasy. At least that’s what she told herself most of the time. But at other moments . . . when she was alone at the lake, staring out over the water, she could still hear his voice, still sense the way it felt to be caught in his eyes, the two of them lost in a feeling bigger than anything she’d known before or since.
Lately everything reminded her of him.
What had happened, anyway? Why had they lost touch? The questions came at her even now, when class was minutes from starting. They didn’t leave each other’s sides for anything back then. When the director called a break from Beauty and the Beast rehearsals, she and Josh would slip into the alley out back and talk about how many hours until they could be alone.
Overt displays of affection were not allowed in practice or during the production of Beauty and the Beast that summer, but that didn’t keep the two of them from looking at each other, standing close and talking in quiet whispers.
“You take my breath away, do you know that?” he would tell her. And later when they were sitting outside her the house where she was staying with her aunt and uncle, he would sometimes bring his guitar. Halfway through the summer he called her after practice, his voice brimming with excitement.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Really?” She could still feel the way his voice warmed her soul. “Do I get it today?”
“Yes.” He laughed. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”
He drove over and once she was outside on the porch swing, he pulled up a footstool and started playing a song she’d never heard. When she looked confused, her stopped and grinned. “I wrote it for you, Amanda. It’s how I feel.”
The song picked up again and the lyrics spoke of a love that came across in every smile, every catch of the eye, and how in everything he did, he always thought of her. When he was finished playing, she felt tears in her eyes. No one had ever written a song for her, and every day since then something had become more clear in her mind.
Just how rare Josh Nelson had been.
The students filed in, smiling at her and chatting with each other. It was a strong cast, the group of kids mostly seniors. Today they were working on the battle scene, the one that depicted the classic struggle – good vs. evil. All the dramas in the world came down to that, really. Even the one she was playing out in her own head. Josh was the good guy, the one who had sung softly to her and danced with her their last night together, and Hollywood . . . well, Hollywood was the evil machine that had changed him into whatever he’d become.
But how would she ever know if even that was a half truth unless she went to the beach and waited for him?
“You okay, Ms James?” It was a blonde girl, the one playing Lucy in the current play. “You’ve been sorta quiet lately.”
Was it that obvious? Amanda stood and straightened herself. She clapped her hands. “Everyone take their places. The citizens of Narnia on the right side of the stage and the workers of the White Witch on the other.” She took a few steps closer to the stage. “It’ll look like a chaotic battle, but it won’t work at all unless we choreograph it.”
The students did as they were told and as the class progressed, the battle took shape. It reminded Amanda of the battle in 2 Chronicles 20, the one where God’s people were on the firing line and the Lord told them clearly not to be afraid or discouraged, because they wouldn’t have to fight the battle. Rather, God, Himself, would fight it.
As the scene played out she was struck by the similarities. God wanted to fight the battle in her heart just as He’d wanted to fight it for the Israelites. But first she needed to make a decision. Just before class ended she made an announcement.
“You’ll have a substitute Friday,” she told them. “Run Act One and make sure everyone’s clear on the blocking.”
The blonde raised her hand. “Are you seeing a doctor, Ms. James?”
“No.” She smiled and for the first time in a week it came from the center of her soul. “I’m taking a trip to the beach.”

Amanda wondered if her heart would burst out of her chest.
Ten years might’ve passed, but she still remembered everything about their conversation. Josh had been smiling, teasing her. Neither of them dreamed for a minute that it would be their last time together. They were in love, after all, with everything in common. Of course they’d see each other again.
She arrived two hours early. Her hair was long and loose over her shoulders, and she wore a pair of dark Capri pants and a white short-sleeved pullover. The sky was brilliant and sunny, and despite the ocean breeze, temperatures stayed in the high seventies. Even still Amanda had goose bumps. She parked in the camp lot, walked down the wooded path and climbed the stairs to the covered bridge. It was empty.
She crossed to the middle and leaned against one of the wooden windowsills. For a moment she looked up, beyond the blue to the place where God must’ve been watching her. Am I crazy, Lord? Should I have stayed home? She waited, but no dramatic answer came. After a few minutes she turned away from the window and looked at the bridge, the six feet between the two wooden walls.
The place where she and Josh danced that night, the place where they promised to come back again. Amanda continued to the other side of the bridge and then down the steps to the beach. She crossed the sand and found a piece of driftwood where she sat until it was just five minutes before noon.
Only then did she make her way back up the stairs to the bridge. She was two stairs from the landing when she heard the sound of footsteps. Her heart responded with a triple beat. It couldn’t be him, could it? He was a busy movie star, someone the whole country recognized. His life would’ve been too busy to remember a girl from his seventeenth summer, right.
She took one more step and then another. The moment she stepped into view of the bridge, she saw him. She blinked, as if maybe his image would disappear and it would all be a dream. Certainly Josh Nelson wasn’t really standing there, fifteen feet away, wearing the same grin he’d worn a decade earlier.
But before she could think about whether it was a dream, he closed the distance between them. With slow steps, his eyes locked on hers, he came to her and when he was a few feet from her he stopped and held out his hands. “Amanda . . . you came.” He swallowed. “You’re so . . . beautiful. Even more than before.”
“And . . . you.” Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them away. Her throat was thick and she had to work to find the words. “I thought you forgot about me.”
“Never.” He came to her and took her hands. His voice was low and kind, the voice she remembered from all those years ago. “No matter what you’ve read about me, I never forgot.” He shrugged. “I just didn’t know how to reach you or . . . whether you’d want me to find you if I could.”
A sound that was mostly laugh came from her throat. “Can you believe it’s been ten years?”
“I think we have some catchin’ up to do.” As easily as he’d done a decade earlier, Josh took her hand and motioned toward the beach. “Let’s walk.”
They shared the next four hours together, walking the shoreline and finding their way back to all the places they’d missed. When the afternoon was over, Josh took her hands and kissed her on the lips, a kiss of nostalgia and regret and a depth that even time couldn’t erase. “I have to go.” He searched her eyes. “My car’s a rental and my flight leaves in three hours out of Portland.”
Disappointment cut her sharp, but she nodded, her smile in place. “Thanks for coming. It . . .” she forced herself to keep her emotions in check. “It was great seeing you.”
“My life’s crazy, you know that.” He’d talked about acting, but not his fame. Not until then. “But can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything to interrupt the moment. It was just as well that he was leaving. His lifestyle was nothing like hers. The two of them were too different now, worlds apart. There would be nothing for them after this moment, an afternoon stolen from yesterday.
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his eyes shyer than before. “Amanda . . . would you mind giving me your number?”
Only then did Amanda exhale.

The meeting with Dayne took place at Josh’s Santa Monica townhouse. Josh didn’t want to risk a run-in with the paparazzi. Not when his plans were so sure, so sudden. They’d have it splattered across the front of every magazine on the rack if they had their way. Especially since he and Jennifer had officially parted ways.
Dayne arrived just before five, as planned. “Hey,” Josh crooked his arm around his friend’s neck. “Thanks for coming.”
“Sounded serious.” Dayne led the way into the living room and took a chair near the fireplace.
Josh sat opposite him and released a long sigh. “I’m doing something crazy, man. I had to tell you.” He narrowed his eyes, looking straight at Dayne. “I guess I need to hear that I’m not insane.” He chuckled. “Crazy, yes. But not insane.”
“Okay.” Dayne leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “You running away to Spain?”
“Sort of.” Josh leaned over and sunk his elbows into his knees. “Remember the girl?”
“Ahhh.” Dayne stroked his chin. “I had a feeling this was about her.”
Josh stood and walked to the window. He stared out for a minute, watching the bottlenecked traffic on the boulevard below. Then he turned and met Dayne’s eyes again. “I’m taking a year off. A whole year, man.” He laughed an incredulous sort of laugh. “It’s the craziest thing I could think of.”
He expected Dayne to react, maybe talk him into staying, encourage him to find a balance between the real world and the make-believe one they lived. Instead, Dayne’s eyes got shiny. “I love it.”
Having Dayne’s approval sent a release through Josh. Somehow he’d known his friend would understand. Something about the way he talked about Bloomington, as if he could turn his back on all he had in Hollywood and run for Indiana if given even the slightest chance. He dropped back into the chair and leveled his gaze at Dayne. “I have one film to finish up, but I’ll commute. After that, no movies, no interviews, nothing. Just a year off so I can find out if I’m right.”
“About the girl?”
“Yes.” He chuckled. “Here’s the craziest part.” Josh gripped the arms of the chair. “She doesn’t have a clue I’m doing this.”
“You’ve been talking, though, right?” Dayne’s eyes were soft, as if the conversation was stirring change within him even as he sat there.
“We’ve talked some. She thinks it’s a passing thing, but I don’t care. You know why?”
Dayne laughed. “I love this. I haven’t seen you look so alive since I’ve known you.” He hesitated. “Okay, why?”
“Because she isn’t married and she isn’t dating anyone.” He pointed to himself. “And I’m in love with her. For the next year she won’t be able to get rid of me if she wants to, because I won’t be Josh Nelson, movie star. I’ll just be Josh. The same Josh who loved her as a kid.”
“That settles it.” Dayne slapped his knee. “You know what I’m doing when I leave here?”
Josh chuckled again. “Don’t tell me you’re moving away for a year. The producers will be ticked if we leave at the same time.”
“They’ll find someone to fill the roles.” Dayne looked more relaxed than he had in months. “They always do.”
“True.” Josh remembered something Dayne had told him, more of the details of the woman named Katy, the one who lived in Bloomington. She was the director of a kids’ drama troupe and once in a while Dayne teased her that he was going to quit acting and become a volunteer with the kids. He squinted at Dayne, curious. “So what’re you doing when you leave?”
“You’ve inspired me. I’m calling Bloomington.”
Josh stood and helped Dayne to his feet. “Then you better hurry up.” He winked at his friend. “I hear there’s a certain young director there who needs help painting sets.”

Dress rehearsal went until five that night and now Amanda sat on her deck, watching the sunlight fade over the lake. She hadn’t heard from Josh in a week, and so that was probably that. She wasn’t moving to Hollywood, wasn’t ready to be the girl on his arm in the dozens of paparazzi shots featured every week.
She had her life in Woodland, her quiet place on the lake. Josh was, well, he was a piece of her past. Nothing more. It had been ridiculous to think there could be more between them when their worlds were so different. He was gone, and they would both be better for it. She hugged herself, warding off a chill.
Then why was she so lonely?
An eagle dipped low and snatched a fish from the lake. She watched it and wondered. Where was its mate? The two great birds were always together until today. Was that how she looked to her students, her parents? Like a lone eagle, someone to feel sorry for? She glanced at the house next door. It was bigger than hers, empty for nearly six months. In fact it had only just been bought. Some investor from out of town, from what the neighbors were saying.
Maybe the new owner would be more than a summer resident, someone who she could become friends with, someone to help ease the hole in her heart. She sighed. The first stars were piercing the dusky blue. She almost wished she could keep nightfall at bay. Something about the darkness made her more likely to think about Josh, to remember every detail of their meeting at the bridge and the phone calls they’d shared since.
A car sounded in the distance, but Amanda didn’t pay it attention. Probably one of the neighbors or even the new people from next door. There were just a couple dozen cabins along the lake, all of them behind a private gate. Usually the only visitors this time of day were the deer and rabbits that made their way from the foothills down to the water.
She didn’t hear the sound of anyone coming, but after a few minutes there were footsteps on the deck. Who would be . . .? She turned and her breath caught in her throat. What was he doing? How had he come and how had he found her? And more than that, why? She stood and her hands fell to her sides. “Josh . . . what . . .?”
A smile lifted the corners of his lips and he came to her. For a long time he hugged her and rocked her, running his hand over her back. “I couldn’t stay away, Amanda.” He whispered the words into her hair. “I’ve thought about you every minute.”
Suddenly she was seventeen again, dancing in the arms of the only boy she’d ever loved, swaying above the traffic on Highway 1 and savoring the feel of Josh’s arms around her, the sound of his sweet voice near her ear. Was this really happening? “I can’t believe you’re here.”
His grin got bigger and his eyes shone. “You know what I wanted to do that day at the beach?”
She felt her heart soar within her. It was happening! Josh Nelson, the boy she’d fallen for a decade ago, had come back to her, at least for a day. She could see in his eyes that he’d left every bit of the pretense and plastic of Hollywood behind. He wore jeans and a plaid wool shirt. His face was cool against hers and his cologne mixed with the smell of pine in the air.
He looked out at the lake. “I can’t believe this place.” He breathed in deep. “It’s beautiful. Just like you said.”
“Yes.” They slid their arms around each other and faced the water. “I never thought for a minute you’d see it for yourself.”
This time he turned to her and with tender hands he framed her face and kissed her. When he pulled back he grinned. “Besides,” there was teasing in his voice. “I thought it only right that I shake your hand in person.”
Amanda’s head was spinning. What did he mean, and how come he was acting so strange. She made a face, trying to understand. “Meaning?”
“Well,” he pointed to the cabin next door. “We’ll have to take things slow, you know. Since we’re going to be neighbors and all.”
Her mouth hung open and she searched his eyes. It took a minute for the news to sink in, but when it did, she fell into his embrace. And somewhere over the distant lake, the final rays of afternoon sun illuminated the eagle and she noticed something that felt as right as Josh being there. There wasn’t one eagle like before.
There were two.